I thought I'd give a little history on how we got together, after all this blog is for my kids and I'm sure they'd love to hear this story one day.
It all started in August, 2000 at one of Steve's best friends Nicks 20th birthday shin-dig.
There he was, circle glasses, pants pulled sky-high and sitting as far away from me as he could possibly get. I don't blame him, my bleach-brassed hair dye, baggy jeans and 3 pagers (because I was too cool for just one) had to be intimidating for the poor guy. Or scary. I like to go with intimidating though.
He was a nerd, and I was too cool for school.
I remember the first thing he ever said to me "I have another love interest" when I sat next to him on the couch. I was like "WOW, I was sitting next to you, not proposing marriage" I was thinking "who does this confident (hot) nerd think he is?".
That was the beginning of my obsession with the cutest boy who ever turned me down before I ever even made a move on him.
After that day we talked on ICQ (remember that? man we're old) for at least a few months before he would invite me over and include me in his group of friends. I finally had it, the golden ticket that allowed me in his front door. I don't know why, but I wanted that invite more that I had ever wanted anything in my life. That hot nerd.
Then it happened! he asked me over *alone* GASP! I spent the next few minutes (hours) picking out my outfit, and re-dying my brassy blonde locks. I buckled myself into my cousins pimped out 1988 mustang with my way-too-loud rap music, and drove over like I was about to hang out with the president.
That night was the BEST date I have ever had. We walked around his neighborhood holding hands and talking our pretty little faces off. Just talked, just us, all night long. The most understated date in my life, and the most meaningful. Lucky me. Look at that cute boy, why in the world does he like me?
A week later we went bowling together, we had the whole place to ourselves! I sat on his lap, we giggled, we acted like two 5 year olds in a candy store. It was perfect. He was perfect.
I remember the next time I saw him like it was yesterday. I was at his house to help him wash his car and there she was - this strong, courageous woman. Beautiful in her black hat and rose colored shirt.
His mom.
She came up to me and wrapped both of her hands around my face, and stood really close to me and said "you are so beautiful, thank you for making my son so happy". I wanted to cry my face off in that moment. She was so sick, and she wanted to meet me! me? who am I? I didn't even know he told her that I made him happy. I was nervous until she spoke, it was such a great feeling to know that he talks about me. And I was so excited that she approved.
I was so blessed to have met her before she passed away, so happy that she was thankful for me being in his life.
And so scared.
Scared because I didn't want to steal away his moments with her. I wanted her to have all of his spare time, to study his face like I always did.
So what did I do? I ran away (not literally in that moment) but I began to push him away so that he would forget about me and focus on things I thought were more important to focus on. I thought to myself "if we are meant to be, we will be" I don't know if I watched too many romance movies or what. I just knew in my heart that he needed to be with his mom more and me less. I guess I could have done things differently, but I was nervous and silly. I cried like a baby for months. He never knew it though, not then. He just thought I was heartless.
Fast forward 2 years, there I am working as a supervisor at Spashdown Waterpark and my cousin (life-long friend) Deb was working for me and she drops a BOMB on me. "Steve has a new girlfriend" it's funny, because I had a boyfriend too now, but who did he think he was??? He was supposed to be with ME. We are like Thelma and Louise, Bonnie and Clyde - okay, not as notorious..but c'mon, we're Steve and Lori, we belong together.
It was torture.
I wanted him to hold my hand, I wanted to get invites to his house, I wanted to be her.
I remember the first time I saw Steve after that. Russ (another friend of Steve and Nicks, now a mutual friend of course) invited us all over for a bbq at his place and there she was, his girlfriend. I don't know what I expected but she wasn't it. I thought, she better be an angel plucked right from heaven if she's not going to be me. I didn't expect the complete opposite!! I was happy and sad all at once. Happy because I knew she wasn't the girl he would marry, but sad because she treated him horribly. And when I say horribly, I can't even begin to describe her in words that I want my kids to read one day.
Over the next year I was around them under 10 times, and each and every time I always left sad and empty. This girl was torture. Why did he think he deserved it?
I couldn't take it anymore. The final straw came when I witnessed her yelling at his friends, and degrating him in a way that I wouldn't even treat a serial killer. I'm not kidding. I wish I was.
I had to say something! Deb and I hatched a plan that I would take him out and tell him that we all feel that he deserves WAY better, and that we just can't watch him go through this anymore. Deb was going to back up my words in a letter, which she did, by the way - thanks for that Deb ;).
I remember the day we were going to go out to talk. I messaged him on MSN messenger (we graduated from ICQ at this time) I told him I had "something to ask him" what a liar. I just didn't want to explain myself on the computer because I was afraid he wouldn't show up.
Boy was I nervous. I spent my usual "I'm going to see Steve!" time getting ready, and headed for his car in my driveway. About to throw up in my mouth a little from all the nerves.
Silently we drove to a bench along the dyke in Richmond, where I sat staring at him and trying to find the words to say, this is how it sounded in my head "she doesn't treat you right", "you deserve better", "your friends care about you and hate to see you sad".
This is how it came out of my mouth, after what felt like hours of silence " Steve, I love you"
I've never been a crier, but in that moment I was ridiculous.
I didn't even know that I was going to say that! What was I doing? I still don't know.
I had never been more sure of anything though, it's like a light bulb went off in my head in that moment. I didn't bring him there to "take him away from his girlfriend" I am not the homewrecking type. I was sick. I was scared. One thing was definite though - I loved him, and I always would.
He was shocked.
We talked more, I said more things that I am still embarrassed to admit (lol) and we both agreed we should leave before anything happened that wasn't appropriate for a guy with a girlfriend to be doing. That made me respect him even more. I thought in my head "he's a perfect gentleman, she's lucky and she doesn't even know it".
I went home and felt sick for a week. I didn't hear a word from him! I was acting a fool on the phone with my bffs Jenn and Deb, and I was sick. So so so SO sick. And SO ridiculous. Here I was this crazy happy girl, a complete hot mess and hiding out in my house.
And then he called!!!! YES! I guess in that week he did a lot of soul searching. He broke up with his girlfriend and got the "follow your heart" talk from his dad.
I want to say it was a "slam dunk!" but it wasn't. We took it slow, we were friends first. Had our ups and downs. I mean c'mon peeps, this is my blog, not a romance novel, although the ending is still "happily ever after" :)
9 years. A lot has happened in this time, a wedding, two babies and a whole ton of memories!
13 years ago today I walked into a party that I was invited to on a whim and I met the man who I am meant to spend forever with. He literally swept me off my feet the moment we realized we were finally going to be together.
I can't say that it will always be easy, but I can definitely say that loving him has been. And always will be. I trust him with every fiber of my being, and I know that is the most important foundation in a happy marriage. That and he's still such a hot nerd! lol!
Here is the first picture ever taken of us when we officially started dating :)
Jacksen and Madelyn this post is for you, I hope you both find a love like your Mommy and Daddy did. I hope you never settle for less than you deserve. You are so loved.
XOXO
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