My mothers day gifts

This is a post I wrote on May,11 2011. I wanted to have it on my blog for my kids to read in the future :)



This Mothers day I am turning the tables around and I am going to write a note to my babies about how lucky I am to be their mommy. My hubby asked me many times " what do you want for Mothers Day?" and I realized {not only should he not be asking..lol} but I already have everything I've ever wanted. I have him, and I have our children - and it just doesn't get any better than that.


Here is a glimpse into my life with my kids, and why I feel so lucky to have them <3

9:00 am I am woken up by the cutest pair of big blue eyes starting into mine, and it never fails -  he climbs into my bed, jumps around and then lays down laughing hysterically and kicking his feet up in the air and secretly I have "mommy moments" where I grab my tummy and remember how his very first kicks felt, and just can't believe that was over 3 years ago, my baby.
9:05 (like clock work) little sister is starting to get angry that she isn't in on the action, so we go into her room and see her big smile as her knight in shining toy story pj's climbs onto the side of her crib, and every single time she looks up at him like she is seeing him for the very first time in her life - and then {sentimental mommy} stands there in awe of how much love they have for one another, its so powerful it could move me to tears.

Waking up each morning and seeing their beautiful faces brings me the kind of joy that I could never put into words.

9:10 {just kidding...I won't get too detailed ;)}

We all know how the rest of the day goes - a few tears, a ton of laughs and cuddles cuddles cuddles! <3


So hubby, if you ever see this - next time you point to one of our kids and say " there's your Christmas/Mothers day/{insert every single holiday you can think of here} gift, instead of giving you "the look" that wives that are disappointed give, or "the silent treatment" that means you better start talkin'. I'm going to thank you. Thank you for the two best gifts I've ever been given in my life, and you're right - you could never top these ones :)

The saying is true- the best things in life aren't things!!

I love you my little peach and plum <3 <3

Happiest Mothers Day ever :) xoxoxo

10 things

A list for my two babies, 10 things I want them to know about how I see them through my eyes.

Jacksen's List:

1. You are the most fair child I know. When Madelyn says "I am the princess and mommy or daddy (yes, daddy) replies with "no, I'm the princess!" you always say "you are all the princesses"
And when I ask you who you love the most in the world, you always say you love us all the same.

2. You never scream. From the minute you were born you have been such a calm boy. I adore this about you.

3. You always ask for things that you want repeatedly, you'll reason with us, explain things with great debate about why you should get the thing that you are asking for.
I think being a lawyer would be a great career choice for you ;)
You get this from your daddy!

4. Your Heart. Oh your sweet heart. You love so deeply and your heart breaks so easily. You always hug us when we're hurt and you'll often cry with your sister when she is sad. I love your heart. I love your spontaneous cuddle sessions and random " I love you daddy, I love you Madelyn, I love you Mommy" that you pause and say in the middle of playing.
You get  your heart from your mommy! (okay, okay, daddy too)

5. Your laugh is contagious. Seriously. I used to call you giggle foot when you were a baby because you would giggle from the bottom of your toes to the tip of your nose. At 5 you still do! I can just look over at you and you'll get the biggest smile on your face and start laughing like I said something hilarious. Music to my ears.

6. You're brilliant. You could spend hours upon hours explaining the solar system to anyone who will listen! I love that you are a sponge for learning.

7. You could play video games from the minute you wake up until the minute you go back to sleep...if I let you! And you are so great at them. SO so great. You're like a 20 year old stuck in a 5 year old's body.

8. You count down the days until you get to see Grandma Goose. Even if it's weeks away, every single night you remember the exact amount of sleeps until you're together again. You love her so much and she gets just as excited to see you!
The countdown usually starts the minute she leaves our house (or vice versa).

9. You adore babies! you're cousins Emily and Everleigh get hugged and kissed (mauled) every time you're with them. You always ask mommy to get you another sister. One day you'll understand that Madelyn wasn't picked up at the supermarket.

10. You are everything I ever imagined my big brother must have been. Your Uncle Darren passed away when I was 16, and sadly we were only really close when I was a young child. I heard stories about him holding me and carrying me around the house.
When I watch you with your little sister and all the love you have for her, I imagine that one day a boy loved me just the same.
I love the love you have for her, she's so lucky.

We're all so lucky.

Madelyn's List:

1. Your sweet little heart. Just like your brother your heart breaks for others just as much as yourself.

2.You like to do an "all of them kiss" with me and daddy lately, it's a 3-way kiss. It's hilarious. You always say "just one more kiss!!!" ....10 kisses later....
One day I'll have to teach you what "one more" means, but for now I am enjoying my kisses!

3.You're feisty. Oh child, you are my scream queen! I like to laugh at your ridiculousness, I know it's a phase and I (call me crazy) actually love this phase. I know it will be gone all too soon!

4. You sing. You sing about your dinner, the weather, putting shoes on. Anything.
You just sing your little heart out! especially in the car, you love "Here I Am" by Bryan Adams and "Here comes the Sun" by the Beatles (you call that one "the bee song" because it was in the Bee Movie) we often catch you belting out Jingle Bells, usually at the dinner table and you're usually standing on it like it's your stage.
The world is your stage baby girl. Your little voice singing makes my heart smile. I love it.

5. You dance. Every day, everywhere. You are my prima ballerina! every single time I put a skirt on you you say "I go to ballet?" I wish I could say yes every time.

6. You have never napped in your crib! I spoil you and cuddle you on the couch until you fall asleep, and believe me you don't want to miss a thing. It's a process, but I'll never complain. You won't always want to fall asleep in my arms <3

7. You are the girl of a million facial expressions. Silly, adorable facial expressions. I have pictures to prove it :)

8. Oh your crazy bedtime ritual. Your toys need to stare at you so you can fall asleep. You say "Dora wook at me!" "Duckie wook at me!" when we've got that just right you move on to your blanket that needs to be upside down and usually when Mommy does it you shout "not that way!" because Mommy has a different upside down than Daddy does. Then you proceed to tell us to "touch my cheek" (daddy started that one because he would rub your cheek with one finger when he was saying goodnight) now you insist we both do it and Mommy has to do it with two fingers.
What a Princess.
Makes me laugh when I walk out of the room (after the cursing inside) because I know that you are such a girly girl and so was (am) I. I'm so doomed when you hit your teenage years.

I'm sure your getting a kick out of this mom.

9.You're smile is something I would pay money to see. All of your teeth show and your dimples are ginormous.
It's goofy, it's silly, it's ridiculously adorable.

10. When I imagined my life with a daughter I pictured a free spirit and a love and zest for life. I see that in you every single day. You're beautiful like Grandma Leanna (and daddy) and you're fiery just like your mama.

Oh, and the love you have for your brother melts me into little pieces.


I love you two so much more than you will ever know.

xoxo

Mommy

9 Years

Yowza! I can't believe that yesterday was my hubby and my 9th "date-aversary", we've been together for 9 years.
I thought I'd give a little history on how we got together, after all this blog is for my kids and I'm sure they'd love to hear this story one day.

It all started in August, 2000 at one of Steve's best friends Nicks 20th birthday shin-dig.
There he was, circle glasses, pants pulled sky-high and sitting as far away from me as he could possibly get. I don't blame him, my bleach-brassed hair dye, baggy jeans and 3 pagers (because I was too cool for just one) had to be intimidating for the poor guy. Or scary. I like to go with intimidating though.

He was a nerd, and I was too cool for school.

I remember the first thing he ever said to me "I have another love interest" when I sat next to him on the couch. I was like "WOW, I was sitting next to you, not proposing marriage" I was thinking "who does this confident (hot) nerd think he is?".
That was the beginning of my obsession with the cutest boy who ever turned me down before I ever even made a move on him.

After that day we talked on ICQ (remember that? man we're old) for at least a few months before he would invite me over and include me in his group of friends. I finally had it, the golden ticket that allowed me in his front door. I don't know why, but I wanted that invite more that I had ever wanted anything in my life. That hot nerd.

Then it happened! he asked me over *alone* GASP! I spent the next few minutes (hours) picking out my outfit, and re-dying my brassy blonde locks. I buckled myself into my cousins pimped out 1988 mustang with my way-too-loud rap music, and drove over like I was about to hang out with the president.
That night was the BEST date I have ever had. We walked around his neighborhood holding hands and talking our pretty little faces off. Just talked, just us, all night long. The most understated date in my life, and the most meaningful. Lucky me. Look at that cute boy, why in the world does he like me?

A week later we went bowling together, we had the whole place to ourselves! I sat on his lap, we giggled, we acted like two 5 year olds in a candy store. It was perfect. He was perfect.

I remember the next time I saw him like it was yesterday. I was at his house to help him wash his car and there she was - this strong, courageous woman. Beautiful in her black hat and rose colored shirt.

His mom.

She came up to me and wrapped both of her hands around my face, and stood really close to me and said "you are so beautiful, thank you for making my son so happy". I wanted to cry my face off in that moment. She was so sick, and she wanted to meet me! me? who am I? I didn't even know he told her that I made him happy. I was nervous until she spoke, it was such a great feeling to know that he talks about me. And I was so excited that she approved.

I was so blessed to have met her before she passed away, so happy that she was thankful for me being in his life.

And so scared.
Scared because I didn't want to steal away his moments with her. I wanted her to have all of his spare time, to study his face like I always did.

So what did I do? I ran away (not literally in that moment) but I began to push him away so that he would forget about me and focus on things I thought were more important to focus on. I thought to myself "if we are meant to be, we will be" I don't know if I watched too many romance movies or what. I just knew in my heart that he needed to be with his mom more and me less. I guess I could have done things differently, but I was nervous and silly. I cried like a baby for months. He never knew it though, not then. He just thought I was heartless.

Fast forward 2 years, there I am working as a supervisor at Spashdown Waterpark and my cousin (life-long friend) Deb was working for me and she drops a BOMB on me. "Steve has a new girlfriend" it's funny, because I had a boyfriend too now, but who did he think he was??? He was supposed to be with ME. We are like Thelma and Louise, Bonnie and Clyde - okay, not as notorious..but c'mon, we're Steve and Lori, we belong together.
It was torture.
I wanted him to hold my hand, I wanted to get invites to his house, I wanted to be her. 

I remember the first time I saw Steve after that. Russ (another friend of Steve and Nicks, now a mutual friend of course) invited us all over for a bbq at his place and there she was, his girlfriend. I don't know what I expected but she wasn't it. I thought, she better be an angel plucked right from heaven if she's not going to be me. I didn't expect the complete opposite!! I was happy and sad all at once. Happy because I knew she wasn't the girl he would marry, but sad because she treated him horribly. And when I say horribly, I can't even begin to describe her in words that I want my kids to read one day.

Over the next year I was around them under 10 times, and each and every time I always left sad and empty. This girl was torture. Why did he think he deserved it?
I couldn't take it anymore. The final straw came when I witnessed her yelling at his friends, and degrating him in a way that I wouldn't even treat a serial killer. I'm not kidding. I wish I was.

I had to say something! Deb and I hatched a plan that I would take him out and tell him that we all feel that he deserves WAY better, and that we just can't watch him go through this anymore. Deb was going to back up my words in a letter, which she did, by the way - thanks for that Deb ;).

I remember the day we were going to go out to talk. I messaged him on MSN messenger (we graduated from ICQ at this time)   I told him I had "something to ask him" what a liar. I just didn't want to explain myself on the computer because I was afraid he wouldn't show up.

Boy was I nervous. I spent my usual "I'm going to see Steve!" time getting ready, and headed for his car in my driveway. About to throw up in my mouth a little from all the nerves.

Silently we drove to a bench along the dyke in Richmond, where I sat staring at him and trying to find the words to say, this is how it sounded in my head "she doesn't treat you right", "you deserve better", "your friends care about you and hate to see you sad".
This is how it came out of my mouth, after what felt like hours of silence " Steve, I love you"
I've never been a crier, but in that moment I was ridiculous.
I didn't even know that I was going to say that! What was I doing? I still don't know.
I had never been more sure of anything though, it's like a light bulb went off in my head in that moment. I didn't bring him there to "take him away from his girlfriend" I am not the homewrecking type. I was sick. I was scared. One thing was definite though - I loved him, and I always would.

He was shocked.

We talked more, I said more things that I am still embarrassed to admit (lol) and we both agreed we should leave before anything happened that wasn't appropriate for a guy with a girlfriend to be doing. That made me respect him even more. I thought in my head "he's a perfect gentleman, she's lucky and she doesn't even know it".

I went home and felt sick for a week. I didn't hear a word from him! I was acting a fool on the phone with my bffs Jenn and Deb, and I was sick. So so so SO sick. And SO ridiculous. Here I was this crazy happy girl, a complete hot mess and hiding out in my house.

And then he called!!!! YES! I guess in that week he did a lot of soul searching. He broke up with his girlfriend and got the "follow your heart" talk from his dad.
I want to say it was a "slam dunk!" but it wasn't. We took it slow, we were friends first. Had our ups and downs. I mean c'mon peeps, this is my blog, not a romance novel, although the ending is still "happily ever after" :)

9 years. A lot has happened in this time, a wedding, two babies and a whole ton of memories!

13 years ago today I walked into a party that I was invited to on a whim and I met the man who I am meant to spend forever with. He literally swept me off my feet the moment we realized we were finally going to be together.
I can't say that it will always be easy, but I can definitely say that loving him has been. And always will be. I trust him with every fiber of my being, and I know that is the most important foundation in a happy marriage. That and he's still such a hot nerd! lol!




 Here is the first picture ever taken of us when we officially started dating :)

Jacksen and Madelyn this post is for you, I hope you both find a love like your Mommy and Daddy did. I hope you never settle for less than you deserve. You are so loved.

XOXO

Little things

They say it's the little things in life that matter the most, and I couldn't agree more!
So I'm going to talk about the most important little things in my life.

This little guy is my first love, Jacksen.

 

Jacksen is 5 years old. 

He currently loves everything to do with bowling, I always used to jokingly say the phrase "I don't want to be a soccer mom with a Mini Van, I want to be a hockey mom with an Escalade " these days I am more than proud to admit that I'm becoming the bowling mom with the Ford Flex.

I always want my boy to be confident in who he is, I wish he could see himself through my eyes.

He melts me in a way that I couldn't begin to describe. When he was born at 8:23am on January 28th, 2008 my whole life changed for the better, from the first second when I heard "it's a boy!" through my hubbys tears, to the moment I saw this calm sweet boy staring from side to side as if he was planning on how he would conquer the world. I still believe he will one day.

This little girl is my second born love, Madelyn.

Madelyn is 2 and 1/2 years old. 

She currently loves everything to do with Ballet! {mommy = over the moon}

I always knew in my heart that I would have a little girl one day, and I knew that I would put her in Ballet as soon as she could walk. I just prayed she would love it as much as I did! so far so good :)

I remember when I had a 3D ultrasound  to confirm that she was actually a girl, and still didn't believe it until she lay on my tummy 5 seconds after she was born when I proceeded to lift her leg {ya I did} and proclaim "it really is a girl!"

I never knew that I could love this way twice. Boy was I ever wrong.

 What I want my kids to always know is how much they have completed me.

I could never express how proud I am to hold their hands and guide them through this life. I feel like I've struck gold every time they hug me or look up at me with their gorgeous eyes filled with so much wonder, innocence and care.

They are silly, vivacious, loving and beautiful from the inside out. 

They're everything.

xoxo

Mommy

Allow me to introduce myself..

My name is Lori, I'm above anything else under the sun - a wife and a mommy of two fantastic little babes Jacksen (5) seriously 5? WOW I feel like I stepped inside a time machine.. and Madelyn (2.5) don't even get me started on how fast she's grown. Wasn't it just yesterday I was pleading my case to  my hubby that it's time to start our family? oh yes, I was...literally.. I'm feeling like it's time for #3.

                                                                   

I think if you knew me well in the past, you would be shocked I even had one child, not because of a lack-luster love for babies, but because I am such a free spirited person I was voted "most likely to travel the world" in highschool. Wrong-o teenage self, you created a better world, a world that only those two kids and that hubby could create. A fantasy perhaps? My reality still blows my mind.

Besides those beauties, I have so much to be thankful for - I have amazing family {even the one I married in too! lucky me right?} I have besties that are the bestest {you know who you are} and a passion and love for life that I just can't begin to describe, the picture above should pretty much sum that up.

I love laughter, silly expressions, rain, babies, tea, chocolate and anything that starts with the words "this is going to be so fun"

I am a passionate photographer, and my own worst critic all at once.

You can also catch me submerged into some ridiculous reality TV show way more often than I like to admit.

And here I am, doing what I said I'd do for years and years- starting my own blog!


xoxo {yes I put those kisses and hugs and immediately thought of Gossip Girl, I think that in honor of my fallen favorite show I will have to sign my blog posts like that from now on ;) }

I look forward to this new adventure!

Lori